Freedom Glads go International

Goodness me dear readers, has it really been so long since our last update? 

 

Here at Gladys West we're all in a bit of a frenzy, getting ourselves ready for the AGM part 2 this week and then hopefully onto the glorious sun, cloud, rain of Copenhagen and the Outgames!

 

So we'll be picking up our blog pens again and scribbling updates as we go.

 

Bye for now!

 

Gladys Billie-Jean

Hola dear readers!

 

As 2008 draws to a close it's time, along with getting the Christmas Tree decorations out and watching some naff celebs "switch on" the lights in Taaahn, for GBJ t odust off her plan for 2008, and change all the dates to 2009.

 

Yes - time for the Gladys AGM.  We're hoping to have a pretty good turnout for this, with some merriment and giggles along the way. 

 

Schedule to be announced when we have it!

 

GBJ

It is true dear readers!  News has reached Gladys West from Austin Powers.  In typical intl woman of mystery fashion she was unable to reveal her location, or what she was up to.  However we are working on the assumption that she's on a top secret mission to save the world from super-evil as always.

 

However she sent us a message. "I will be there", in response to a Gladys gathering.  One can only assume this is coded message.  Or perhaps she's trying to learn how to speak pure Blair in an effort to inflitrate the Essex scene?  Only time will tell!

I have been remiss in announcing, well, any of these from our tournaments!  So here is the run down of the Gladys awards from 2008 :)

 

Players Player: Gladys Martini

Supporters Player: Gladys Farrah Fawcett

Best Supporter: El Kel (aka Mrs Gladys Pink)

The Austin Powers napping award: Gladys Hollywood Tan

Best goal: Gladys Martini (diving header)

Best cock-up: Gladys Billie-Jean (you cannot play ping pong with your head, hands, goalpost and goal)

Best off-pitch comedy moment: Gladys Love Muscle (for slipping while kicking the ball against a wall, moaning, and then being smacked on the back of the head with returning ball)

Best defensive moment: Gladys Pink.  (Masterful chest control, trap of the ball before hoofing it down the pitch).

Gladys most travelled: Gladys Jaffa (approx 5,000 miles for 20 mins of football and 43 beers.  We did warn her).

 

and finally..

 

The fairest Gladys of them all: Gladys Lionel Blair.  For showing outstanding Spiritus de Gladys throughout the entire year, the best sign EVER, and always having a smile on her face.  Even on a crowded train telling us stories she really shouldn't when everyone else also speaks English...

Has anyone seen a slightly used footballer with a headband, long flowing 70s-style locks and a scraped knee?

 

We have lost our Fawcett somewhere between Barcelona and London.  Last seen heading for something architectural to look at...

 

Hey yeah...art yeah?

All Glads should now be safely returned to their various homes, resting and kicking off their training programs for the forthcoming tourneys.

 

Gladyses Lionel Blair, Trophy Woife, Jaffa and Billie-Jean were last seen merrily sipping cocktails and two of them were also pole dancing (yes, really) in a glorious European Gladys farewell to Jaffa.  We wish her luck on her 22hour flight back to Chicago (via the rest of the world).

 

Now firmly ensconsed in Gladys West, GBJ is hard at work at the Gladys video, and organising things for the next Gladys tournaments (details TBC).

 

Watch this space!  We'll be doing our best to ensure that the blog doesn't go dusty this year!

 

GBJ

 

Well, today was it.  Win our first game, or go back to the bar. With that sobering thought in mind, Glads limbered up wildly, and took to the field against Hobberstrassen from...errr...Germany we think.  Well 50/50 Germany or Austria was the general verdict.

 

They were in blue, we in our lucky white shirts.  At this point I should mention  at 9am it was tipping 30 degrees, and all the cafes around the venue were shut for siesta.

 

We let them slip in for an early goal, our backline looking bewildered.  HOwever some resourceful marking and battling from the Glads saw us pull it back to 1-1 thanks to a route 1 attempt from GBJ to Fawcett.

 

After halftime we regrouped again and hit back.  They peppered our goals with shots, however GBJ was only called upon twice, once with a over-glam leap to the right to palm away an effort (it looked better in my mind than on video believe me).  The rest of the time we swept the ball away. 

 

And then!  With two minutes to go, Farrah Fawcett slipped past a defender, the ball at her feet.  Past another defender....GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

2-1 to the Glads, semi finals await, and hurrah!

 

And so, 3 hours later we await what turns out to be the quarter final match against Amsterdam Hot Kicks.  We're fairly confident in thinking they're from Amsterdam.

Again we cede the early lead.  The match itself is very end to end, with all Glads digging in bravely.  And then...with just 1 minute to go, Fawcett steals around the defender and slots the ball past the goalie.  Joy ensues, and we're off to a penalty shootout.  At this point the tempature tops 36 degrees and more than one of us feels quite quite faint.

Glads go first: score!
Dams go: score!
Glads go second: and sadly...a miss
Dams go: score!
Glads go: score!
Dams go: score!  And with that, Glads are sadly out. (odd rules, but at least the ref was watching this time).

 

Tired and frustrated as we were, good luck to the Hot Kicks in the next round (whichever one it actually is!).

 

So as we sit here in Gladys Base Camp a few hours later, a few beers in, we are truly proud of the spiritus de Gladys shown, and the efforts by every single Gladys.  In fact, it's best summed up in the words of El Kel..

 

"I'm not a football fan.  I don't even like football.  However this tournament, seeing you all give everything for the team, I was cheering my heart out and experiencing all the emotions around a match that I've never done before."

 

El Kel, we couldn't have said it better ourselves.

Onwards and upwards Glads!  To the rest of 2008 and to 2009!
GBJ

 

PS: Blog update tomorow hopefully (as long as the internet actually works!)

 

 

With a well made plan to leave at 8:15 am (yes, really) we thought we were all set.  However, come 8:23, there was a rushed phone call placed to Gladyses Billie-Jean and Woife..."where the hell are ya?"

 

Our alarm didn't go off.  Well, that's not what I said, I actually said "Holy shit!" and slammed the phone down, prodding woife awake and we sprinted downstairs.

So with that, our attempt at finding the train station (set to the Benny Hill theme tune) we were really not the best prepared Glads as we arrived at the pitch for our first game against H.O.T. ry + Plan "C". (no, we don't know either). Unfortunately for them PLan C had failed, and there was no plan D, so we started against 5 players under instruction to "get as many goals as fast as possible before the rest of them arrive!"

 

We lined up with GBJ in goal, Pink and Lionel at the back, Tan, Martini, Woife in midfield and Fawcett up front.

 

Martini banged in two goals, both lovely wavy mazy runs from midfield, taking in the supporters on the sideline to get a phone number or two from the cute ones before halftime.

 

They came back strongly in the second half, but some stout and arm wavy defence with Pink and Lionel Blair soon saw them off, and we won, our first victory and our first game!

 

As soon as we were off the pitch we ran for shade.  Yes dear readers, it was indeed Scorchio!  As the sun moved it was like watching a mass migration as teams ran for shade and cover.  We ended up camped out by a practice squash/odd sport court where we endulged in some "Tanning it" (more on that later) and chitchat.

So to game two...Freedom Glads vs Stuttgart-Dusseldorf.  Glads were suffering in the heat, and didn't play too well in the first half.  And we weren't hungover this time a la Copenhagen either.  Some silly errors and GBJ's attempt to play ping-pong with herself, the post and the ball all led to an overall 3-0 by halftime. 

But this being Glads, we regrouped, reformed, brought on subs and played much much better in the second half.  Although the score ended 5-0 the performance was much better and we headed off to the cafeteria with a 4 hour wait for our next match.  Yes. 4 hours.

 

Much can happen in four hours dear reader.  We had a nice lunch except Dunny "5 euros for a bit of salad, olives some bread?  I Was ripped off!  And I forgot my vegemite mate, I am MAD!"  Fawcett, Hollywood (know just known as Tan), Woife, Dunny and Lionel Blair (Los Blairos) all parked under distant trees and napped quietly while the rest of us were entertained by the Gladys Playas presenting..."the arrest of Gladys Jaffa".  This was a brief 1 act play, recorded by GBJ for posterity, detailing a re-enactment of when Jaffa was arrested. Coupled with this, our prime supporter, Mrs Gladys Pink (aka El Kel) was caught on same camera singing a very very unusual version of the Cagney and Lacey theme tune.

 

So to our 4.45pm game vs A-mega + Kiev "NRG".  While sounding like a wonderful 90s dance anthem, we were well and truly out to set right what once went wrong (errr..copyright some TV program).

 

We hit upon the missing element..the Lionel Blair song!  Last seen successfully in Copenhagen, this little ditty saw us through good and bad games, and helped us warm up nicely.  And and this time we introduced it, belting it out while the opposition quivered at the other end.

 

And lo!  Goals fell from the sky like pints of beer from the bar.  Fawcett and Martini rattled in a good couple of goals, followed by a third, while the defense was firm, resolute and our midfielders prowled around the pitch like caged tigers.  GRRR!

 

And on that note we ended the day, having to call in three hours later to find out where we had finished in the group and what time our game was tomorrow.  We finished top of our group, and our quarter final berth was 10:45 am the next day...

 

With that in mind we headed off to the womens party (great venue!) and had sensible amounts of beer before retiring for the night.

Couldn't resist sharing this one...if there are any complaints then go to the organising committee.  What they say is law, and they do promise us this little gem

 

"Organization decision will be unappealing"

 

I hope we don't need them!

GBJ

Yes dear readers, a brief pause in our trails today to explain this one

 

Lionel, in her role as official Gladys travel agent has managed to secure us rooms for above mentioned price (e.g. dirt cheap), but the caveat with this is that any single thing that goes wrong...this is what is said in return.

 

In the words of the Woife

"That's going to be the phrase they put on your gravestone Lionel".